Mindful Holiday Celebrations
Amid the holiday season, it’s easy to get swept up in festivities and drift away from health habits. Sometimes, this is exactly what you need: a break from the usual and a gentler approach for a while. In other cases, getting swept up may mean you’re pulled further from actions that help you feel more grounded in your body and supported in your health. It doesn’t have to be either or! With a little intention, you can assess how you’d like to experience the season and maintain a focus on your health so the new year doesn’t feel like a total restart on your path to wellness.
To do this, it can be helpful to start with some reflection. Consider how you want to feel and what you want the season to be about. Is the focus on connection with others, and enjoyment of seasonal food and activities, with less prioritization of individual time and goals? Or is it to maintain your foundation of nutrition, activity, sleep, and stress management while fitting in other experiences on occasion? It’s also possible that you’re somewhere in between. There is no “right” or “best” answer, this is a highly individualized perspective. But asking yourself these questions and being intentional about your mindset will minimize feelings of regret for not engaging in more of the festivities or for not prioritizing your health in the ways that you would have liked come January. Planning allows us to find the most aligned spot in the middle, in the gray zone, rather than taking an all-or-nothing approach.
The Gray Zone
Let’s talk a little more about this gray zone. The messaging of the health and wellness world can feel quite polarizing at times. There are arguments for dietary approaches that fall on opposite ends of the spectrum, and we can often find at least some relevance in both. The answer is rarely “this or that” but instead lies somewhere in between. And that’s a useful consideration during the holiday season when the messaging and social pressure can also be polarizing. We may be encouraged to “have another slice” on more than one occasion, while also seeing ads about plans to ‘kickstart weight loss in the new year’. As long as you know what feels most aligned for you, you can tune out the noise and define your own gray zone instead.
This might look like some days maintaining a focus on balanced meals and regular movement and on others allowing for more flexibility. There is a wide spectrum of possibilities, and despite what we sometimes hear about “starting over in January”, this doesn’t have to be the case. Consider how you’ve approached this season in the past. What worked and what didn’t? Learning from your own past experiences is one of the best ways to set yourself up for success when facing a similar scenario. Pause for a moment to consider, what would feel good to you, looking back on the holiday season six weeks from now?
The Spectrum of Possibilities
Let’s consider the many ways mindful celebrations could play out during a holiday season.
- Mindfulness can mean choosing to celebrate in full for each gathering or event and resuming your regular routine once the celebration is over. There is a place for allowing total enjoyment on the days the festivities occur and not viewing it as a six-week string of endless merriment. Maybe this means some days and weeks are more 60/40 vs 80/20, and that’s ok.
- If you’d like to celebrate in full but also have specific considerations regarding food sensitivities, you may layer in more nuance. Look for ways to add before subtracting and substitute instead of avoiding. Consider adjusting recipes to provide some of the seasonal aspects you enjoy most that also align with your needs. Or, if you’re able, you may choose to deviate somewhat from your usual way of eating and see how this feels. One meal often won’t derail things entirely, but you know your body best.
- It’s also possible that this time of year feels just as important as any other to remain consistent with your routine and aligned with your goals. Maybe your self-reflection has shown you that easing up on your health habits leads to more difficulty getting back into a rhythm or sets you up for more challenges in certain areas of your health. If this feels true, you may prefer to prioritize balance and consistency most of the time.
Social Gatherings: The Unknowns and Potential Solutions
Once you’re clear on the approach that feels right to you, we can move on to envisioning how it will take shape. No matter the strategy you choose, if you’re engaging in social gatherings, there will be some unknowns. In a social setting, you’re often following the cues of others around you. Remaining mindful at group gatherings just might be one of the most challenging aspects of all. Maybe it’s the buffet that feels incredibly tempting to graze or the uncertain timing of meals that can lead to excess appetizer munching because you’re overly hungry. It could also be the heavy focus on alcohol that can lead to increased food intake or choosing foods you don’t even enjoy. Then there are sweets and desserts, a favorite element of the holiday season for many. How do you navigate these numerous variables mindfully?
If you know your overall intention, this can help you ground yourself in the experience you want to have and the actions that are aligned. This isn’t about perfection but rather how you want to feel. Often, it’s best to assess this before each gathering or event. Is this one where you’d like to focus on the connection with people and less on the food? Maybe that means you have a snack before arriving so you aren’t overly hungry, and the conversations can be your primary focus. Or it could be a family gathering rich with nostalgic recipes and favorite dishes you only have this one time per year. You may choose to enjoy this aspect fully and include an element of mindfulness simply by selecting moderate portions and being present throughout the eating experience. In other cases, alcohol and sweets can pose a complex challenge. Especially if the social dynamic is that these are assumed or encouraged, in these cases, consider bringing a non-alcohol alternative or setting boundaries around what you’ll be enjoying based on what feels good to you. Request to take a serving of that homemade pie or a small plate of holiday cookies home to enjoy later.
Social Gatherings: Setting Boundaries and Honoring Ourselves
While the examples just listed may seem optimal in theory, it comes down to whether you feel comfortable and confident communicating a boundary that honors what feels good to you. And for most people, boundaries aren’t easy (and that’s ok!). Let’s consider some examples to help you get started. If the dynamic in a social setting leans into a critique of food and bodies, lean away from engaging in this dialogue with a brief (unapologetic) reply.
If someone speaks to you directly and is awaiting a reply, try shifting the focus to something more neutral:
Person: “I know I shouldn’t eat this because I’m trying to lose weight, but calories don’t count on holidays, right?”
Potential reply: “What we each choose to have is totally individual, the only goal should be to enjoy it!”
If someone is pushing a dessert on you after you’ve already declined an initial offer:
Person: “You have to try some, it’s really good and I know you’ll love it. Plus, I can’t keep leftovers around!”
Potential reply: “I’m feeling completely satisfied so I’m really not interested in dessert.”
Alternate reply: “I’d be happy to take some home but am not ready to eat anything else.”
If someone comments on the amount of food you have on your plate/have eaten:
Person: “If I ate that much, I’d just have to go right to sleep!”
Potential reply: “I feel good about honoring my hunger and I know that experience is different for everyone.”
You can certainly choose to share more or reply directly to a comment, but in some cases, this can be more triggering to the underlying pain point that leads the person to make the comment initially. Ultimately, if someone continues to push a topic or food that disrespects your boundary, it’s ok to smile and excuse yourself from the situation. In the end, we can remember that these interactions start because of how someone else feels, and it’s not our responsibility to change that. But we can certainly do what feels best to honor ourselves and feel good about that!
Celebrations On Your Terms
It may sound too good to be true, but entering the season with mindful intentions can enhance your experience overall. Rather than feeling as though you’ve fallen prey to circumstances, you’ll be more empowered to navigate them in ways that feel best for you. As the saying goes, it’s about progress over perfection. The goal shouldn’t be to restrict and then get down on yourself if you don’t succeed, but to allow for flexibility and to enjoy yourself with intention. The holiday season can be lots of fun but can also present unexpected challenges, so remember to offer yourself a little compassion and celebrate in whatever ways feel best for you.